While beauty remains a curse for the empress of UpYourselfness - there’s no denying the world is changing, and Effie is changing with it.

What’s happening to me? I’ve gone from rational to irrational. From pristine to vulvarine. From frigid to feral. And I don’t know who or what to blame.

In her previous shows Effie’s tackled love, digital dating, being a virgin bride, a pandemic, cancel culture and political correctness; but 2026 poses a more intimate challenge, suddenly, Effie can’t even recognize herself.

I thought I’d mature like a fine wine, so why am I becoming a very dry martini?

Effie’s determined to discover what’s happening to her, even if it comes at the cost of everything she cares about: her sanity, her vanity, her very humanity.

Join Effie as she explores her past, her present, her life and loves and unravels a conspiracy so massive, it’ll blow dry your mind.

'We might think we know the character inside-out, but Effie still manages to shock and surprise her audience every time she opens her mouth.' – The Advertiser